Living with Heart

My Acid Ankles & why medical names should be simple!

On a recent visit to my rheumatologist we had a good old chat and it was going well. I was feeling crap and she was sympathetic in that ‘I’m healthy and a size 6 but I totally understand what you’re feeling’ type of way. 

I had HotY (Husband of the Year) with me so I think she was extra nice. HotY is my secret weapon – he looks so innocently concerned and genuinely earnest that I am by association taken more seriously. (He is really thinking about his latest round of Forge of Empires – but he covers it well).

Back to the rheumatologist – we came up with a long plan to get me out of the ‘I’m feeling crap’ phase. Lots of let’s double this drug and reintroduce this one until your liver flickers et cetera.

I gracefully pointed to the impresssive bulges at the back of my ankles and she became quite animated. “I’d really like to run an ultrasound over that and see what pops up.” I replied that it felt like acid was swirling around my ankles, which I thought was a great descriptive way to explain that I was feeling no love from my acid ankles. Now – Acid Ankles was and is the perfect word to describe my bulges. Simple, descriptive, accurate, understandable, to the point, relatable.

Then she whips the ultrasound out and waves it magically over my bulges and says “massive retrocalcaneal inflammation”. Say what?

How am I supposed to know what this is? I couldn’t even spell it and I was really thinking. Acid Ankles is just more simple. Like really simple. 

So my rheumatologist pulls up a diagram on the computer of what retrocalcaneal inflammation is (I assume she knew how to spell it because she was able to just google it really quickly – she’s smart that way). I listened earnestly to her explanation. I went home and googled it myself. 

After much reading and extensive research here is my explanation for what massive retrocalcaneal inflammation is:
Between my achilles and my ankle/foot joint is a goon sac full of acid that is massive. It is so massive that it is squashing out the back of my ankle creating impressive bulges. The bulges go around my achilles tendon. My achilles is surrounded by a swirling Acid Goon Sack. This causes pain.

Simple, elegant, descriptive, accurate.

Now, when I discussed this alternate explanation to HotY later he was very impressed and suggested it would make a great name for a Bar. Acid Goon Sack Bar & Cafe. But, we would then constantly get raided by the cops because……acid.

So, medical words should be easier to understand. That’s my point. And if I see an Acid Goon Sack Bar & Cafe opening anywhere – I will know you read to the end of this blog…and I will be happy.

Thank you for reading this. Thank you for taking time to listen and to hear. Thank you for seeing my life through my joint perspective. 

Michelle

2 Comments
  1. Michelle. Thank you. I have a dry sense of humour as well and most people are shocked by my descriptions of symptoms. You are a breath of fresh air. PS if you fall down are you on an acid trip?

  2. Acid goon sack – sounds like something all the kids will want to try 😉

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